“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”

I know that it is hard to let go but I guess I just have to be strong. I can't bare the pain that jealousy is causing me. I can't always say that I am okay when I am not. I can't always say that I am willing to listen when every word you utter is digging a hole straight into my heart.

I love you! Yes, I do... That is not and will never be a question. After all the things that we have through, my love for you is not a question. But, I guess we have come to the point that love is not enough. I need security and commitment. Something, that from the very start of this relationship, I know you can never provide.

Every time you talk about your kids, like how much you are missing them, how much you're longing to be with them, it's making me blame myself. I know that I am part to blame of why you are not with them. Worst, when you talk about her. How thin she has become, how much you pity her. It's killing me with jealousy. I know that I could never compete with them. I am perfectly aware that I could never be enough. I know that it would always be them in the end.

It's just hard or maybe sad on my end. I know that after us there will always be you and her and your kids. But after you... yes I will have ysa, but that's it. I will lose my friend, my best friend. If I have never had any regrets in the past, I am afraid that this will be the first one.

I am letting go... all because it's starting to hurt and I can no longer bear the pain.